I always find myself in a place where I'm dishing out relationship advice. I don't consider myself an expert at all, but I do feel that God has allowed me to experience and see things that I can use as precautionary tools for my loved ones. Many of my female friends have posed the question, "What do I do now?", and I quickly reply with, "Nothing!" Most of the time, they expect me to answer with some vindictive plan, but that's not my nature. Revenge never works (been there) Although I do have a bit of a temper, I believe that when dealing with men, sometimes the best approach is to do/say nothing and keep it moving. Instead, we find ourselves 'stalking' men for answers. Before you know it, innocent bystanders become involved, and you wind up in a mess of chaos.
To prevent this situation from happening, I would like to share some steps in letting go. First, stop all communication with the man. Unless you have children with him, there is no reason to speak to him after he's hurt you and been dismissed.Cutting off the communication will make him see that you mean business. Secondly, keep a distance from his friends. Good friends are loyal friends, and whether or not the guy was to blame, his friends will take his side regardless if you consider them to be mutual friends. Yes, they may have the power to speak to him about his relationship and reach him in ways that you can't, but that has to be done without your assistance. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS! Third, and most important, don't have sex with him after the break-up. Women, we are emotional creatures. If you have sex with him, you will naturally resurface those feelings you've had for him. It also causes of a lot of confusion that may have you questioning yourself about ending the relationship. In essence, there's nothing wrong with second-guessing, but you can second-guess yourself into a cycle of make-ups and break-ups. Last, but not least, keep some of your business to yourself. Sometimes, involving friends can make you question how you've handled the break-up. Girlfriends may have good intentions, but they can make matters worse by forcing you to rehash old drama; the masking term for this action is "venting". When you say that you've left it alone, LEAVE IT ALONE. Discuss the drama when you know that you are over it completely.
If you follow these rules, you will have no problems saying, "On to the next!". The process is much harder than the discussion, but if you keep in mind your self-worth and happiness, you will find yourself moving on before you know it!Letting go is a good way to ensure that you're not going to carry any of your old madness into your new relationship. It is never fair to make the new man suffer because of the unfinished business you have with the ex. Do yourself a favor,and move on with a clear mind and heart. LET IT GO!